"Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty." Mother Teresa
What she said is very true. This is so true in case of old people. After all the pain and care that parents took to bring up their children, they fly to distant lands leaving the old parents alone. They start feeling their parents are a big pain to them. After taking away their possession by hook or by crook, they leave alone their parents to suffer the immense pain of loneliness and feeling of unwanted ness.
In many cases, children consider their old parents below their standard. In fact they find introducing their parents to their friend is below their dignity. After all they are outdated, right????? They never take their parents to their houses or do the take them to the hospital when they fall ill.
"Loneliness is never more cruel than when it is felt in close propinquity with someone who has ceased to communicate. "
I know sons and daughters who don’t call their parents even once a month. The loneliness that the parents are suffering should be seen by children. Just bringing a pair of dress or some cosmetics is not enough. What parents are longing for is the care of their children. I know children who don’t send money to their parents because parents have nothing more to give them. This is really tragic!!!
Remember, someday even you will grow old and the same will be repeated by your children. No amount what ever you have made, it is nothing in your old age!!!!!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Friday, July 23, 2010
If you ask
If one is to ask me what the biggest sorrow of an elderly couple is, I would say it is the neglect and uncaring attitude of their children whom they brought up with all the love and care.
If you ask me what the most disturbing sight I saw is, I would say it is that of my parents who were hunting for my brother’s telephone number in the telephone book and trying to call him since he did not even bother to call them even after reaching India a week back.
If you ask me what is the most touching thing I saw I would say that it is in this link
http://easajimchithrangal.blogspot.com/2010/07/my-gods.html
I appreciate the way he considers his parents. I would say that his parents are very lucky indeed!!
If you ask me what the most disturbing sight I saw is, I would say it is that of my parents who were hunting for my brother’s telephone number in the telephone book and trying to call him since he did not even bother to call them even after reaching India a week back.
If you ask me what is the most touching thing I saw I would say that it is in this link
http://easajimchithrangal.blogspot.com/2010/07/my-gods.html
I appreciate the way he considers his parents. I would say that his parents are very lucky indeed!!
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Sorry Maa
My Mum celebrated her 70th birthday yesterday. When I think of her, so many things come to my mind. The earliest memory of mum was her dressing me up in a diaper. I really don’t know if disposable diapers were available then. The diaper I remember was a plastic coated pink panty with four big silver buttons. The silver buttons and the pink colour were my favourites.
Then I remember mum going through labour pain. It was late one night when I heard mum mourning. I was frightened. Dad woke others up and put all of us in his car and took her to the hospital. All that I remember was Mum was not coming back home. I started crying. Next day Dad informed that a new baby had come and took us to the hospital. Mum called us by her side and asked us how we were. Then she showed us our sister. Then I felt that she was like Linda, my doll. The only difference was that she was very soft.
My Mum was a woman who sacrificed her life for her children. Though she was educated she was never allowed to work. The reason my Dad had to give was that he was earning enough and there was no need for the woman of the house to work!!!! So faithfully she stayed at home and looked after us. She gave us everything that we needed. All our physical as well as emotional needs were met.
It was no easy joke to bring up four children – two boys and two girls. Each one of us had different tastes and poor soul had to cook according to each ones taste. Never once did she complain. She made sure that she cooked one curry each for four of us.
She was an excellent cook who could cook the yummiest Chinese dishes. She was good at baking too. Christmas times were always memorable. The meal safe would be filled with home made chocolate cakes, vanilla cake, plum cake and marble cake. At the time when people never heard of marble cake, mum knew how to bake it. Her homemade ice creams were also excellent. She would bake cookies and biscuits of various shapes, sizes and colours. I loved being her assistant in the kitchen from the time I was small. She has a lot of secret tips which is never let out to anyone except to her daughters.
Mum was very fair and had pink lips. When she was angry it would go red. She never used lipsticks. She was poised and carried herself very well. She was extremely fashionable in her times. She would stitch her own blouses according to her likes. Mum was obstinate in her own ways. She always wanted the latest trends in jewellery, shoes clothes and handbags.
This was my mum in her younger days.
Mum is a lady who underwent a lot of torments in life. She led a life with an incompatible marriage for over fifty years. She lost a son to drugs and has no idea about him for over 27 years. She went through severe bouts of depressions. And she has the empty nest syndrome. She cannot accept the fact that she is left alone with Dad and none of her children with her.
Now the condition of mum is so pathetic. Did she ever find happiness in that confined life? Today she is a patient of rheumatoid arthritis in its severest form. She has been crippled and is confined to the four walls of the house. At times she does go out after much difficulty. The well poised elegant woman can be seen now with a walking stick. The weight of the walking stick itself is an unbearable pain to her. This is just the physical pain. But the mental pain that she is going through is even more unbearable.
Mum must have never thought that her children would never return when they went abroad. Now my family house looks haunted. Not a sound is heard outside except for the frequent quarrels that my parents have.
I feel very guilty that I didn’t go home to wish Mum. It all ended in a phone call. The 70th birthday is something to be celebrated with ones own siblings and family. Mum celebrated her birthday all alone with Dad.
I felt really guilty. I could have gone home to wish her. But I was more bothered about my own work. What was the point in Mum bringing me up with all the love, care and affection? What love or affection is I giving her back? Is it enough for us, children to just wish our parents over the phone and send them money? I know I did a very wrong thing. May be someday my daughter will do the same to me. History repeats itself, right???
Then I remember mum going through labour pain. It was late one night when I heard mum mourning. I was frightened. Dad woke others up and put all of us in his car and took her to the hospital. All that I remember was Mum was not coming back home. I started crying. Next day Dad informed that a new baby had come and took us to the hospital. Mum called us by her side and asked us how we were. Then she showed us our sister. Then I felt that she was like Linda, my doll. The only difference was that she was very soft.
My Mum was a woman who sacrificed her life for her children. Though she was educated she was never allowed to work. The reason my Dad had to give was that he was earning enough and there was no need for the woman of the house to work!!!! So faithfully she stayed at home and looked after us. She gave us everything that we needed. All our physical as well as emotional needs were met.
It was no easy joke to bring up four children – two boys and two girls. Each one of us had different tastes and poor soul had to cook according to each ones taste. Never once did she complain. She made sure that she cooked one curry each for four of us.
She was an excellent cook who could cook the yummiest Chinese dishes. She was good at baking too. Christmas times were always memorable. The meal safe would be filled with home made chocolate cakes, vanilla cake, plum cake and marble cake. At the time when people never heard of marble cake, mum knew how to bake it. Her homemade ice creams were also excellent. She would bake cookies and biscuits of various shapes, sizes and colours. I loved being her assistant in the kitchen from the time I was small. She has a lot of secret tips which is never let out to anyone except to her daughters.
Mum was very fair and had pink lips. When she was angry it would go red. She never used lipsticks. She was poised and carried herself very well. She was extremely fashionable in her times. She would stitch her own blouses according to her likes. Mum was obstinate in her own ways. She always wanted the latest trends in jewellery, shoes clothes and handbags.
This was my mum in her younger days.
Mum is a lady who underwent a lot of torments in life. She led a life with an incompatible marriage for over fifty years. She lost a son to drugs and has no idea about him for over 27 years. She went through severe bouts of depressions. And she has the empty nest syndrome. She cannot accept the fact that she is left alone with Dad and none of her children with her.
Now the condition of mum is so pathetic. Did she ever find happiness in that confined life? Today she is a patient of rheumatoid arthritis in its severest form. She has been crippled and is confined to the four walls of the house. At times she does go out after much difficulty. The well poised elegant woman can be seen now with a walking stick. The weight of the walking stick itself is an unbearable pain to her. This is just the physical pain. But the mental pain that she is going through is even more unbearable.
Mum must have never thought that her children would never return when they went abroad. Now my family house looks haunted. Not a sound is heard outside except for the frequent quarrels that my parents have.
I feel very guilty that I didn’t go home to wish Mum. It all ended in a phone call. The 70th birthday is something to be celebrated with ones own siblings and family. Mum celebrated her birthday all alone with Dad.
I felt really guilty. I could have gone home to wish her. But I was more bothered about my own work. What was the point in Mum bringing me up with all the love, care and affection? What love or affection is I giving her back? Is it enough for us, children to just wish our parents over the phone and send them money? I know I did a very wrong thing. May be someday my daughter will do the same to me. History repeats itself, right???
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